It is a very common behaviour for us to notice things that we want to look for subconsciously. Like when we just learn a new word, whenever the new word appears again the next few days or weeks we will pay more attention to it and somehow feel that it keeps poping out in our life. Or when we tell ourselves that we need to look for a certain lost item in our room, then we will suddenly find many other things along the way cause we are focusing our attentiont o look for something in the room. This works the same way for how we treat people. If a person gives us a first impression of being neat and tidy, we will often look at the neatness and tidiness that the persons show and further prove to ourselves that he is that kind of person. However, sometimes we might lose out oher important points which actually does not depict so. Same thine when a person gives us a bad impression (example irritating, thereafter everything that person does will be somehow irritating). This is this mentality that actually mislead us most of the time in our lives and make us bias. Therefore, if we tell ourselves that we like this person, no matter what this person does we will think this person is great and good. But at the same time another person might not like him, and thus keep telling himself that alot of things he does is irritating and un-understandable.

Oh well, i guess its impossible to change this. But we actually use this to our advantage. Instead of always thinking of the bad things, we can force ourselves to subconsciously think of the good things. Then we can also try to look out for happy, funny, joyful things in our lives. And not looka t setbacks as demoralising but as a lesson learnt. Then everything will be more positive. Perhaps will we will lead a happier life. I mean our life is already so short, why waste it but being negative all the time?

HA HEE HEE HEE, HA HO HA! HA HO Ho HO HEE HO HEE HO HEE HO HA. HA HO HEE HEE HA HA HO HA HEE HO HA. HA HO HEE HEE HEE HEE, HA HO HO HO HA HO HO, HA HEE HO HO!

Try doing this once in a while, u might just really feel like laughing and make ur life brighter.

Once upon a time, there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for winter. Soon the weather turned so cold, however, that he reluctantly started to head south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard. Just then a cow passed by and crapped on the sparrow. The bird thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, he started to sing. Just then a cat came by, heard the chirping, cleared away the manure and ate the bird.

Now, it may seem that there are no lessons here but there are. In fact three:

Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.

Everyone who gets you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend.

If you are warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.

Some food for thought as too what the three statement actually means....

When I'm happy I feel like crying, but when I'm sad i don't feel like laughing. I think its;s better to be happy. Then you get two feelings for the price of one. - Lily Tomlin as Edith Ann

Researched believe that a major source of violence is due to people's inability ro cry. Crying is an importnat part of our pain. loss, and grief. It is one of the primary ways the body relieves tension when under pressure. However, even though we should let ourselves cry when we are upset, we should not keep sticking to it and narrow our vision of our current situation. Because crying involves alot of outlet of negative feelings and causes us to think towards that way more. But if we are able to turn around the situation and look at the humourous side of things, we might be able to see a bigger picture of everything.

Laughter is a very unused and despised tool in the adult world. When we are kids, we are often told by adults, "Settle down", "When are you going to grow up?" when we do something stupid and laugh about it. This deter us from laughing at mistakes we have done and be more serious about it. Seriousness in adulthood represents godliness and laughter makes us look immature. However, we forget that laughter actually helps us to forget about the pain at that moment in time. It gives us a different prespective and make us look at the greater picture. Sometimes it might be even a blessing in disguise. Laughter actually help us to move on in life and ease alot of our pain.

Of course its not possible to see humour in every situation and also not possible to laugh at every situation as well. There are of course times whereby its just not the right time to laugh. However, we must try to learn to identify situation whereby humour is possible. But there is no need to try too hard. Sometimes when we look back at certain mistkaes in our life, we will tend to laugh at it as well. This also helps us to ease the pain. So it does not neccesary has to be at the moment kind of thing.

Laughter is really a good medicine for pain.

When one make a mistake, he will often will depress, down and perhaps even starts blaming himself in many ways. At times like this, there will be some people who will keep telling u about ur mistake and talking about it over and over and over and over.... Even though that person will be very irrtated and angry because of that, he can't blame others for saying it and at the same time that anger is built up inside of him. This anger comes from both himself and also from others reprimanding him. But he just can't do anything about it. Its just like being pushed on all sides with no way out at all. The worse thing is when even ur closest friends or family member just keeps harping on it as if u have not learnt ur lesson yet.

Normally at this juncture, two things can happen. one is that the person just explodes and throws his tantrum around. He will anger everyone around him because they will all think that he does not want to admit his mistake. this will cause a misunderstanding because he actually alrready knows his mistake.

Another that can happen is that the persons just keep everything in him, push it into his subconsciousness. This may seem to be the right thing to do because everyone is happy and everything is peace. However, it can have an adverse effect over the long run. The person might lose this selfconfidence and self esteem. He will also be more timid to similar events in the future. Even worse case senarios he will rmb the event for life and haunt him. He will then unknowingly have negative feelings towards those people innvolved in the irritation which sometimes has no basis.

The correct thing to do is actually to find an outlet somewhere to release the stress. U can either find a friend or someone or even something if possible to talk to. It not good to always keep things inside u or just release it right into people's face.

Haha... i think i am either typing a whole lot of nonsense or i am being a good counsellor. Oh well... time to sleep...

Whew... finally something that looks proper in a very long time. But the taste is still not very good. Think i will need to experiment more. Haha but nevertheless a memorable experience.

Yesterday was a gathering at Dr lee's house. Another memorable event that will be marked in my memory forever.


Alcohol is really not good for health. Gives a really bad headache. Slept like for 11 hours....


Guys mostly talk about army stuff, really dun wanna talk about them.


Someone told me that once in a while u should just let urself go free and be urself. Humans more often than not hide behind a mask that is acceptable by others. As they grow up, they will change this mask to adapt to whatever environment they are in. At workplaces, family gatherings, with friends, boy/girlfriends, spouse.... We all have different mask for different situation. People ask, isn't this very fake and is similar to lying? Why can't we just be ourselves? And whats wrong with being ourselves even though it might not be accepted? Isn't this a free society? However, in the end, we can only say that this society is one that rely heavily on images. People are easily outcasted as long as they are different or show signs of weakness in them. And also sometimes the truth is just not good enough, having to lie is just the best solution to the situation.

Yes, being a good person is just not good enough. To show that there is goodness, there must be badness. To have light, we must have darkness. The concept of duality....

Have u ever looked into people's eye and feel as if u can see what they have seen with their's? Everyime when i see the same pair of eyes, it becomes more weary and sad. Yet at the same time i can see how the person as undergone more ordeals and has grown stronger. Yes, life is a cruel thing and normally its only when we have seen more cruelity in the world will our will and spirit grow stronger at the sametime.

Eyes, full of sorrow and fury are eyes of the betrayed and hurt. I think i only see joyful and innocent eyes in babies and children nowadays. They are so pure and perfect maybe thats why people always like them and cuddle them.

Experiences are just carved into our eyes and our souls but why do happy ones often stay at the back of our memories and hidden? And yet the hurtful ones stay within our eyes like scars that will never ever recovery even with the passing of time.....

U know when kids always think they have grown up and matured and are ready to face the world? But then a few years later they will realise that they seemed to have grown up. Haha how ironic. They once again they feel that they have matured. But yet again they will feel that they have grown up yet again later.

Maybe this only happened to me? I dunno. But the feeling of growing up is good and bad at the same time.

Its been awhile since i had any inspirational talk with anyone. Haha maybe i ran out of things to think about. But i think that is impossible. Too many things running through my brain now i don't even know what to thing about.

Tiredness,
Spiritual
Physical
Mental
Emotional

Physical, simpliest of all. I sure there is no need to elaborate...

Mental, crack ur brains too much. Happens to me all the time. I think i just think too far ahead. Which is what i try to avoid now. Don't ever make urself mentally tired. Kills a lot of brain cells.

Emotional, haha happens to many people i think. Most of the time its when too many ugly and disappointing things happen to u. I don't think people actually get emotionally tired from being happy all the time. Haha especially when u know some of my friends, they are like 'high' all the time that u wonder if they ever get tired of it. But i guess people need a break too from the same emotions all the time. Imagine u do the same happy thing everyday, eventually u will get sick of it somehow.

Spiritual, this is not the religious kind of spirit. (not a religious person) I think its when u are just being pressed down by too many of a certain thing. (like stress, secrets, human relations, family, friends, expectations, work/homework perhaps...) U just get crushed by it, thats why people need both an inlet and an outlet. Won't u just explode if u store everything inside urself and had no one to confide to? Or maybe u just too tired about it and dun care anymore, thats what i call spiritual tiredness i think.

Ever had all 4 at the same time and felt like the worlds was gonna end? Don't ever want it happening to myself, too tough for me to handle alone.

Did i just crap all that? lol....

Narcissism - inwardly in love with oneself and seek admiration from others in areas where there is and no adequate foundation for.
Causes - influenced by parents who superimposes their own ambitions onto their child. causes the child to lose the ability to measure his own's values and become dependent on others for opinion. Also caused by direct blows to self esteem, undermined by sibilings (due to preference for other sibilings by parents).
Character trends - increasing unproductivity, striving for admiration. Causes superficaiity, showmanship, opportunism so that he will be socially desirable. He chooses so that he can be popular and not because he personal likes that option.
May eventually hold grievances towards other but he hold others reponsible for this failures and are often hurt by other for not giving that people even attention.

Super ego - rigid and high moral standards. Motivating force in thier lives is a passionate drive toward rectitude and perfection. They feel the need to be in control and blame themselves heavily for their own failures. They feel that they are strong enough to endure any maltreatment without fear, compliance and resentment.
Causes - often were under great authority and thus shift his centre to the authorities. Therefore there is high adherence to standards and thus causing a feeling of superiority. Therefore causes the pursuit of perfectionism and high quality of work.

Masochistic - tendency towards self minimising (feel unattractive, insignificant, inefficient, stupid, worthless). He feels that he is incapable of living without presence, love, friendship of another as he is incapable of living without oxygen. Basically very pessimistic in nature and wish for pity from others.
Characteristic - tend to find security through self belittling by making oneself insignificant, unattractive and inconspicuous. Tend to be easily alarmed when offered a better job or better position somewhere else. Often expresses things in an apologetic way. Also can come with a need for power and control through his very own suffering and helplessness. His friends and famil may sibmit to his wished because they are afraid if they do not there will be an upheaval of some kind.

Did a summary on three different characteristic. I think i can find these behaviours in many people around me somehow. Therefore trying to use this post to remind myself of these characteristic.... Whew.... So which one do u think u are?

Left... Go for it. Full of ups and downs. But the journey and reward is priceless

Right... Desirable. straight and easy path. Simple but will be a joyful journey ahead. Safe. Secure.

Its just so hard to decide.... So which will u choose?

Dark clouds, heavy rain, flooded streets....

Blue sky, light breeze, sunlight, fresh air, green fields....

Feels like another chapter has passed in my life again. Even though a friend is leaving, it is not another sad chapter. It is one of those memories, 10 years down the road, u will think back and smile again.

Haha WCP is so beautiful!!!! Can't wait to go there again....

There are people who are outcasted and rejected by others. U pity them and try to help them. However, in the end its really just not worth the effort. I think i finally understand why this happens. Too many times it has happened already.... Too many times....

Maybe i am sleeping too late. Must be too cranky...

Sin, when one falls short by the standards of God.

Therefore,
Kind deeds done (is sin) because we did it cause we know its good
Bad deeds done (is sin) because we did it cause we know its bad
Knowledge is what makes us sin.
Without knowledge, we wouldn't be able to differentiate between good and bad.
We wouldn't know what emotions we are feeling.
We won't know what is greed, vanity, slander, lie, envy, pining

Only,
Through jesus will all our sins be washed away.
And will we be able to live as the images of god, sinless, perfect.

Thoughts,
Of God cannot be comprehended for we are only human.
Of humans cannot be comprehended for we are only human.

Therefore,
Believe in God....
Believe in Jesus....

Just some random thoughts after a talk with my friend. Haha i am not christain btw...

9th of August...

Part of NS is gone....
2/3 left.
Endure MX!!!!
Take this time to relax and enjoy urself

Running is so tiring nowadays.... i think back when i was a kid, i dun ever feel tired somehow. But then now ah... run abit then like tired le... must be old le.

Bored...
Ever wished for more free time?
When that time came, you realised u didn't know what to do.
And then there are times when u have so many activities,
And u want a break.
When the break comes,
U look for more things to do.

People look for more freedom.
Then when they gain it,
They want to lose it again.
When u are cared for,
U wished people left u alone.
When u are ignored,
U seek attention and love.

Children wish to grow up.
Adults wish for their childhood.

It is yours,
Treasured it is not.
Yours it isn't,
Wish for it u will.

I wonder what i am going to do when my saturdays are free again.....

Ok lah. life is very relaxed now. I shouldn't complain. I think i should let my brain rest for 2 years (and rot and become stupider). Instead of forever thinking of what i should do during my free time. Haha best is to work i think. Then can earn money to buy things!!!!

Ok anyway. Life is relaxed now. That is all that matters. Haha. I want to relax forever!!!!

N life goes on in august.... Haha i think i really got use to it le... Like i feel happy everyday now. Its a good sign. ! year and 3 months more of rest. N i think i have made up my mind to do actuarial science too. Finally!!! Now just to make use of my remaining time to whatever i want....