I was thinking again during NIE band prac. Looking at all the 15,16,17 yrs old young kids made me realised how much of time i had wasted since sec school. Hmm... if i had planned and knew what i wanted 3 years ago things would have worked out much better now. Everything is so uncertain because of that. Argh so frustrated with myself sometimes.


And i feel so old le. No longer as young even though i am only 19? Dun feel like i still can go around screaming and shouting like kids. Running around and playing. i dunno just dun feel like it. no more energy in life le. they always say to be young u just have to young at heart but i think i am old at heart le.... gosh...

very sick of studying. just thinking about more studying from dec onwards makes me wanna stay in nov. i dunno how i sustain myself one. i am seriously running out of entertainments in life le. Everything is starting to be a chore in life. Argh so negative. I think i read too much of a certain book which keeps talking about embracing darkness.

why do good people do bad things?
because there are no good people.

You are in a room that is so bright i cannot see my fingers
everything looks piercing to the eyes but there seemed pure and heavenly
But as you look down on the ground you realised darkness was there,
Your shadow is there.
You start to recognise your face, body , soul
Your eyes truly open and there was no longer light.
There was everything and everywhere but there was no light.
And you are truly dark and opaque black.
Then you realised there is no true white but only whiteness
In comparision to your body and soul