what so hard about living life? Its just full of ups and downs. Someone close to me told me that today after a whole lot of pessimistic viewpoints from me about life. My theory: death is the relieve of one's life and i am just glad to move on. I am tired of living as a human and even more tired as a nice human. Maybe i just feel that humans are too full of flaws. No one is perfect and it is the unperfectness that makes us human. It is also the unperfectness that makes us beautiful. It is the hope in people's eye and heart then create miracle and give joy to life. It is the struggle that humans put up which makes their life worth more. Even though everyone's life is priceless, you have given your life a value by deciding how to live it. By living it to the fullest, you would have given it the most value it can ever have i guess.

Life is also precious because it is not just yours to begin with. It belongs to everyone that cares and loves you. By taking good care of it, you answer to all those people around you. I guess it is also true that it works the reverse way as well. You bask in the love of those around u, and that is what makes u think that life is worth living and is precious to you. And this is how every individual person work which forms a entire network of bonds and relationships in this world. It is infinitely long and infinitely strong.

I guess living a simple life is actually the easiest to be happy and content. Instead of dwelling too much into it, we should just live life normally and plainly. When humans first started out with sticks and stones, they had lesser problems and lesser worries. Even though life was simple and plain, i believe they all struggle to survive and to live happily with their close one. Haha maybe life should have stayed like that. Instead of having conflicts, jealousy due to complication of our lives, we should have stayed at the stone age. And joy and happyiness would be much purer without any materialistic attachment.

This is for my special friend out there, i don't feel that i am alone. Don't worry, i am not indulging in self pity. In fact i am living a happy life because i know i have many friends i can count on. Many friends that i can go through thick and thin with. Many friends to share my sadness, pain, loneliness, happiness, joy, bitterness and so on... with. Even though i am ok with death, i might think it relieve me of my duties to live on. Even though i might sound i want to die, i actually don't (i think). But i think i have dwelled too much into it to realised that to me death is just as good a thing as living. Or maybe its not ba. I don't know. But i do know that if i continue to live on, i might find the answer i am looking for in life. Maybe i am not meant to find it. But i know that at least living will show me more things that i have not seen or felt before. New experiences that will bring about more colours to my life.

Haha, after talking so much. Maybe i did sound suicidal at first. But i don't think i am.... Shouldn't be ba.... I shall take a step back and let life continue on....